Feel free to peruse the listings below and don’t hesitate to call or email me if you have questions regarding any of the properties for sale. I can also put you in touch with ghost hunters, psychics, exorcists, and demonologists for further assistance or information. I will, unfortunately, not be able to accompany you if you wish to visit any of the residences or properties available; you’re on your own there. Good luck and happy haunt — I mean, hunting!

  1. Hill House (The Haunting, 1963) Huge country mansion, labyrinth-like structure, perfect for wandering and getting lost. Rooms include abandoned, locked nursery, library with movable spiral staircase and bedrooms with bendable doors. Statuary included. Modern air conditioning creates special “cold spots” for refreshing stops throughout the house. Housekeeper and groundskeeper only available during daytime hours. Grounds include large tree alongside driveway, perfect for smashing cars into. Owner taking reasonable offers as long as you promise to burn house to the ground upon closing. English country estate with massive grounds, swamp located on premises. Live-in valet and nanny available 24 hours a day even though both are dead. House includes winding, shadowy hallways and large bay windows perfect for faces to peer through. Inhabitants include young brother and sister, both available for adoption and/or possession. Tall hedges can accommodate evil specters standing atop them.
  2. The Overlook (The Shining, 1980) Historic turn-of-the-century hotel located high in the Colorado Rockies. Beautiful, expansive views and elaborate hedge mazes on grounds (can be swapped for hedge topiary). Rooms all have king-sized beds and large bathtubs, some with rotting corpse included. Previous caretaker and family still on grounds. Lobby level features oversized ballroom for parties, bartender available 24/7. Hotel chef can make trips to property during off-season to assist with special needs. Parties nightly. Hotel comes with working elevator, although plumbing issues need to be addressed.
  3. 112 Ocean Avenue (The Amityville Horror, 1979) Spacious Dutch Colonial located in quiet town on South Shore of Long Island. Six bedrooms, swimming pool and boathouse included. Additional secret room, painted red, located behind shelving in basement and containing heated mud bath. Pets (pig and swarm of flies) included in purchase price. Previous occupants include family of seven (all but one deceased) and family of five (fled after one month). House has been blessed by local priest. Asking price: $80,000, but can be had for as little as $55,000. Beautifully maintained English manor, perfect for investigations of psychic phenomena. Chapel located in center of house features hidden room and preserved corpse. Large entry hall can accommodate oversized machine for ridding house of paranormal energy. Good for small dinner parties, séances, and inappropriate sexual advances.
  4. The Allardyce House (Burnt Offerings, 1976) Large neo-classical mansion located in the California countryside, Built in 1890s. One occupant in top floor rooms will not interact with your family until it’s too late. Gas heaters in rooms automatically turn on. Swimming pool creates own waves for “rough waters” effect, suitable for drowning. House has self-regenerating paint and exteriors, requiring only life force of current tenants to power it. Trees form natural barrier to outside world and act as gate for entryway. Demonic chauffeur available to drive you back to house after failed escape attempt.
  5. Freeling residence (Poltergeist, 1982) Modern three-bedroom home in beautiful planned community of Cuesta Verde, California. Features include bendable silverware and self-moving furniture. Upstairs rooms include spacious doorway to alternate dimension with access also through living room ceiling. Lovely tree in yard just within grabbing distance of bedroom windows. Backyard includes swimming pool and human remains that pop out of the ground. Great for entertaining. Spacious, labyrinthine rental with multiple bedrooms, well-appointed for parties and overnight stays. Doors and gates lock at midnight each night. Basement comes with acid bath underneath floor for convenient body disposal. Bonus of $1 million to any prospective tenant who can actually spend one full night in the house. House was put on market again in 1999 with different ownership, but failed to attract much interest (owner also has other properties available via 13 Ghosts Realtors, Inc.)
  6. Danvers State Hospital (Session 9, 2001) Vast hospital facility, closed since 1985. Fully furnished and equipped with medical equipment. Asbestos removal required. Silver coins and other artifacts conveniently stored in wall behind basement crematorium. Underground tunnels connect wings of the hospital, some upgrade in lighting may be required. Cemetery on grounds for easy burial after you die. Property being offered at bargain rates due to most of the structures being unsafe.
  7. Bathsheba House (The Conjuring, 2013) Charming farmhouse in Harrisville, Rhode Island. Located on 200-acre piece of property subdivided into smaller parcels. No dogs allowed. Wardrobe in bedroom has secret passage behind it for convenient transit between rooms without being seen. Basement and upstairs rooms perfect for playing hide and seek. Original owner from 1863 still resides on premises. Great for family activities and exorcisms.